But can I express how difficult it is to not be a missionary right now. Oh my heck. I want to make a comparison between a Book of Mormon story, a pre-mission experience, and my current situation. So:
Very beginning of the Book of Mormon. Lehi was told to leave everything. His home, the land of his inheritance, his gold, ALL his precious things, etc. And for what? THE WILDERNESS. Gee, what fun. And what is more puzzling is that the reason why Lehi had to leave was because he was in danger, and the reason why he was in danger resulted from his obedience to the Lord. The Lord says; "because thou hast been faithful and declared unto this people the things which I commanded thee, behold, they seek to take away thy life." What? Shouldn't Lehi receive blessings for his obedience? And he did... they just weren't immediate. The Lord does all things because he loves his children. And Lehi's blessings became more obvious as he (out of necessity) has to rely deeper and deeper on the Lord. Sometimes the Lord takes away what we love most in order to prepare the way for us to receive blessings that will fill us with more love and MORE HAPPINESS.
So. I can relate to this. Not to be awkward or anything but there was a time when the Lord took away what I loved most. In this case, who I loved most. Breaking up is hard. But through that, out of necessity, I relied on the Lord and came to know Him in a way I never had before. And I treasure that. Absolutely treasure it. And it provided the way for me to come on a mission and feel more HAPPINESS! (Wait, I could be more happy? Yes. Yes, I could!). The Lord doesn't have a happiness limit, actually. He wants us to feel a fullness of joy that never stops growing.
Here's the thing, though. I never imagined that when the thing I loved the most was being a missionary, it would be in jeopardy of being taken away. It's kind of a righteous thing. But Lehi was doing a righteous thing when he was asked to sacrifice. The point is. Even though this whole ordeal has kind of caught me really off guard, I trust in my Father. Everything He does is out of love, and part of His perfect plan for our happiness. I know that of a surety. I cannot deny it. That kind of confidence that comes from trust in Heavenly Father is worth any sacrifice.
Out of time, but I love you, everybody! Next time you hear from me I will be without a gallbladder :)